Hanoi, Vietnam. Fun and flawed; chaotic, but with a certain charm. It’s the place I call home. Recently, however, I’ve noticed the mood in the city has taken a darker turn. Could it be because the temperature has begun to fall? Possibly - the Vietnamese are no fans of the cold after all. Is it the fact that winter means that the already woeful pollution problem will be even worse in the coming months? Maybe. I’ve not quite been able to put my finger on it, though.
Well, that was until a month ago: a voice note from a friend of mine informed me that the reason for the gloom that has enveloped Hanoi is far more sinister than I could’ve imagined………Harry Kewell, the absolute rodent, is now the manager of Hanoi FC.
You remember Harry Kewell, right? He was the guy who left Leeds when we were on the bones of our arse, joining Liverpool and siphoning off some of the funds into the pocket of his unregistered agent, before giving an interview to the BBC where he criticised the club and staff. And, if that wasn’t quite detestable enough, he plumbed new depths when he joined Galatasaray. The ‘man’ will do anything for a pound note.
So, of course, it’s no surprise that such an odious character can have a detrimental effect on the mood of a city. Even if large swathes of the population are unaware of Kewell's existence, being in such close proximity to a vacuous moral blank is going to be bad for anyone's spirit, whether they’re aware of the exact cause or not.
The thing is - Hanoian’s aren’t exactly strangers to the sight of rats, it’s just that they are normally pancaked into the road, not scurrying about on the touchline of a local football match. I’m not saying I hope Kewell is pancaked into the road by the way, but………..there are a lot of traffic accidents in Hanoi.
Thankfully, for me and the other 8 million residents of Hanoi, Kewell’s complete lack of managerial talent, combined with his general incompetence and greed, will no doubt see him scuttle off after yet another failure. I just hope the mental scars from being associated with such a gutter-dweller will be fleeting. In the meantime, until the inevitable day comes, one of Hanoi FC’s local rivals has gained another supporter. All Cong Aren't We!
