Good Luck Agent Woodgate

As Leeds fans, hatred of Manchester United is ingrained; it’s as natural as breathing for us. Unfortunately, for Leeds fans of a certain age, like myself, our formative years of following the club coincided with relentless Manchester United success. What made matters worse was the fact that they had a habit of taking our best players. Leeds’ financial collapse during the early 00’s saw both Rio Ferdinand and Alan Smith follow in Gordon McQueen’s, Joe Jordan’s, and Eric Cantona’s footsteps by making the treacherous journey across the Pennines to Salford. The fact that all those players tasted success at Scum made a bitter pill even harder to swallow.

Fast-forward to 2026, and the situation in Salford has taken a 180 degree turn: it once looked like the glory days would never cease at Old Trafford; now it feels like they’ll never return (or so we hope). As owners, the Glazer’s were wonderfully inept, but even they weren’t a match for how brilliantly shit Jim Ratcliffe’s tenure has been. Carrying out punitive cost cutting measures while spunking 100s of millions on utter dross is emblematic of the shambolic nature of the current regime, and I’m absolutely here for it. It’s not only welcome, but thoroughly deserved.

In the wake of Amorim’s inevitable sacking, Scum have decided that Ferguson sycophant Michael Carrick is the man to lead them out of the darkness. This is the Michael Carrick who failed for 3 seasons at the mighty Middlesborough, and whose only qualifications for the job appear to be that ‘he knows the club’. This is where Jonathan Woodgate comes in: simply being friends with Carrick appears to have been enough to land him the job as assistant manager. Maybe witnessing Carrick’s rank mediocrity first-hand means Woodgate, the man whose nickname at Leeds was Village (as in, Village Idiot),  will now be able to provide some searing tactical insights? Time will tell (it won’t).

Of course, given Woodgate’s history with Leeds, the fact that he not only played for the club, but was a product of the youth system, it’s likely, and understandable, that he’ll be on the receiving end of some ‘forthright’ criticism from my fellow fans. No Leeds fan wants to see ex-players, especially one who was held in such high regard, join that lot. The fact that he’s going as a coach, rather than as a player, takes the edge off slightly, but the point still stands. 

Normally, I'd be wishing him nothing but misery for joining them, but on this occasion I think it’s a move that should be welcomed. Here’s why: this is obviously going to go terribly for Manchester United, where everything is done in the hope of appeasing the lingering Ferguson. We already have Jason Willcox deeply embedded within the hierarchy at Old Trafford, wreaking havoc everywhere he goes; he’s doing such an abysmal job, the only conclusion is that he’s doing it on purpose. With this in mind, why not add another agent of chaos into the club? Hopefully Woodgate received the same brief as our man Wilcox, and if that is the case, that crumbling relic of a club should be finally finished off by the summer. So, goodspeed Woody, we believe in you.